I recently sent two pairs of jeans to an artist friend in Switzerland
I had seen a pair painted and asked is she could paint on mine
She’d never done it before but said yes
They came back this week and they are spectacular
She put very meaningful words and images on them in lots of bright colors and
They are transformed
The thing is, I really didn’t like either pair before
They pull up because I can’t do buttons or zippers
I felt handicapped wearing them
So I rarely did
But, the way they were painted makes them something
Totally new
Something I’m extremely proud of and incredibly excited to wear
They’ve been transformed

Today, I picked up jewelry
A bracelet and two rings
All gold, all smooth bands
It’s made from old pieces that I’ve had for years
Old earrings and a ring from college
A bracelet that was 30 years old
Things I never wore
Pieces I didn’t get rid of when I thought I was dying because they were sentimental
Instead of looking at them in drawer, I called a friend who’s a jeweler
She made them into something new
The old gold became shiny
They will be pieces I wear everyday
Probably for years and years
How fun
To take something that was of no use and create something that is
But, can we do it that in our lives?

Speaking to another girlfriend today
We were discussing, becoming different
How all the stuff we carried around emotionally was exhausting
How we’ve come through the other side of trials and feel transformed
We see life differently
We see ourselves differently
We live our days differently
Somethings are the same but seen through such a very different lens so even that
feels different
I don’t think you can teach it
Or preach it
You become it
You take on the paint of many colors
You let your life be the canvas and you change
You melt in the heat and fire and you take a different form
You change
But, your still you
Hard to describe how vastly different I feel when I look
like the same person
but I know I’ve been changed
I’ve been rearranged
I’d like to say it was easy
I’d like to say it was painless
I’d like to say anything other than the truth which is
It’s been the hardest eight years of my life
I’ve endured pain that I couldn’t even imagine
I’ve cried and screamed and begged, sometimes before breakfast
But, I’m through that darkness now
I’m healed and not reeling
I smile now, a lot
I call in joy every moment and am grateful I made it this far
I am sure life isn’t done with me
I know that because I’m still alive
Every day we change and grow and that’s the point
Step by step to change
Claim the day you want to see and find a way to make it
Maybe with paint
Maybe with fire
Always with a lot of grace
Transformation isn’t easy but it’s profoundly beautiful to let what’s old
Become something new

Approximately four hours after the writing the above, I was in the ER.
One of the rings was too tight and would not come off. We tried lotion, Moroccan hair oil, dental floss, scotch tape, ice, aspirin, tequila and more ice. Michael even went to the store to buy windex, yes windex, I googled it. Nothing worked.
So, on a Friday night I entered the double doors of a busy metro Atlanta hospital and approached the nurse and explained what happened. I was helped almost immediately and the ring was cut off. I’ll go back today to see my friend, the jeweler and give her the pieces to put back together again. I know we’ll laugh. Isn’t that just the way it goes?
Something new, something old, something breaks, then gets fixed
It’s all part of the cycle
The circle of life goes round and round
Like my band of gold
Only this time not so tight

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